Slay Me In My Sleep


they say a bear knows when someone looks at his tracks
well I've been getting that same feeling lately all up and down my back

I was younger than you
you are older than me
I was only seventeen

oh a year and a day thats all that it was
that time was a light
a graph spike
a zeitgeist

like the sun that gives us all life
it shines with a fierce heat
shaming all my time in between

which stretches cool and flat
like a snake
its head coloured bold and bright
venomous and magnificent

it leads me away
very far from here
to a place that doesn't exist

but there's an anchor now
my old heart has woken
heavy and hurting
your alive again
in this mercurial boy

he's not a snag in the line
but a meeting point
in the circle of all my lost time

boy in the night
he's never been right
he kicks at a stone

woman is old
her hands on the folds
of sheet white as bone

he's heading her way
and she's still awake
its quarter to four

he kicks at the gate
he's been on the turps
he's lost as a bird

from the window above
she is watching it all
he trips and he falls

as he tries to stand
she smiles in her hand
he's on the hills hoist

back door is open
she never closes
it to the night

still there's a smash
a curse and a smash
she loses a pane

he's been there before
he knows where to go
the end of the hall

he tries to be quiet
while finding the light
but sinks to the floor

by the light of the stars
he searches for hours
through cupboards and drawers

then he opens a book
it slips to the floor
the picture of her

(the circle slides
across the sky
the stars so bold
begin to shy
the moon will meet
the sun tonight)

girl at a ball
dancing alone
shot from the side
her eyes cant hide
that she's in love
with the photographer

the others are blurred
but she's still as a bird
the arch of her back
the line of her neck
the tiniest smile
and those exhalted eyes


kitchen at night
is a desolate sight
how brings the moon
such a change to a room

how can the kettle
tower like a tomb
how can the chair
be a scaffold of death

breaking the bane
just a light
all it takes

glass on the floor
and the wind
through the door
bright little shards
there's a cat in the yard

it drinks from a puddle
with the moon
in the middle
just as it does
oh the sky fills with clouds

I wakened too soon
now the cats drunk the moon

window pane opaque with rain
and the light all dappled like the sea or a cave

and the kettle with its belly of bubbles
like rattling train, throwing steam on the pane

the way the water collects and slides
like a tear stained cheek or a microscopes eye

pool forms at the base of the door
through the broken pane
I thought I'd never feel this way again

he's got your eyes
your mouth, your smile
this old, cold heart
has woken warm and young and wild

"did you feel the earth quake at noon?"
"no I'd just heard the very, very worst of all news"

lunatic woman running through the night
and the lunar sky like a maniacs eye

street lamps flicker in the gloom
and the windows are full of the faces of doom

wait a day for the ashes to cool
or the cinders will catch in your bin you old fool

yesterday they said that it would rain
as the tree tops swayed
and the sun upon the leaves did play

he's got your eyes
your mouth, your smile
this old, cold heart
has woken warm and young and wild
oh I'm falling!
Oh my heart!

a light in the east
a bird on the sill
boy in the attic he is sober now

he clears his mess
into cupboards and desks
all but the picture against his chest

the carpet flares
the suns now there
smell of toast burning up the stairs

he quietly leaves
the room in peace
an empty stage of a distant play

he hears a scream
the kettles steam
still at the door for a second before he runs in

my fears all gone
I see the dawn and I know the boy will be down soon
and he'll pick me up
and see I'm hurt
and call the nurse
and they'll come and take me away
and I wont be coming back again

we'd dance
him a devil and me a witch
a spell cast
never leaving each others arms

(his silhouette at the door
a shape I've known so long)

(hold me in your arms
just like a child again
like we were never apart)

lead me away
it leads me away

a bell rung in the night
a wave laps at my brow
a thousand marching feet
a town lost in the mist
a light shows beneath a door
a spell cast in the night
a cry like I was struck
i wound out like a thread
a child lost in the woods
a tune from another time
a song already sung

I know I'm very young
I'll tell you anything
I love you how you were then
you are my only friend

I know I'm very old
I'll tell you all I hold
you are a living ghost
you are my only friend

suddenly its cold
your eyes are almost closed
small enough to keep
I never realised
a movie from the past
the year when you were born
it slowly slips away
a journey on a train
your mouth a bloody bell
I'll sing into your ear
all the notes we've sung
flutter to the ground
they're resting on us all
like streamers when they fall
a maggot in a nut
a stone sits in a creek
a path into the woods
I wronged her in my youth
an acorn on the sill
a tree upon the hill
careful not to breath
a nuckle with a bee
a doll made out of wood
a bell upon the see
a suitcase on the bed
the last one she will pack
I watched you when you came
I know where you have been
I've waited here for hours
your eyes are very bright
flowers on the table
forget me nots and daisies
she turned towards the door
she thought she heard a bell
a biscuit wet with tea
memories, memories
a flock upon the wire
a bird upon the road
a stone across the glass
a tiny little star
an ancient rusty nail
the bark of an old oak
a skeleton beneath
missing many teeth

he'd waited at the gate
all day for us
though he was old
and never left the house
standing tall
with the wind in his fur
like he was young again
a teenager

then from our first surprise
soon we went quiet
cos we saw his face
and we saw his eyes
and we ran to him
like the silver screen
and before he fell
he lept a bit
into our greeting

and looking up
with tiny breaths
he was old again
and then we saw
what he'd waited for
and our faces crumpled
given me in a box
when I was three

and we all bent down
kissed his kind old head
and talked a bit
then he fell quiet
not long after that

no i'll never, never go
no I'll never let you go

a letter came one day, it slid into the hall
I couldn't breath, could not feel anything at all
the words were yours yet I just couldn't hear your voice
I loved you so I simply never thought you could

and for the second time I buckled at the knees
the time before you'd gently raised me to my feet
your hands were strong against my trembling little ribs
then all at once we both fell lost in love's abyss

all the dancers drift away
all the faces turn away
all the dancers drift away
all the dancers fade

and as the sun went down
I looked to the west it was a bloody mess of red
the last happy day I had

oh I cant remember
how I walked so many miles
and so many, many hours
to that tiny little town
at the top of the mountain
I had lost it all
oh a terrible day
the last day I was loved

all were sleeping
as I reeled like someone struck
through the tiny little streets
and I heard a sound
in my waking dream
of music dark and deep
through the maze of all the streets

figures march
past me very quiet
there heads are bowed
and there's not a single sound
but the bands dirge
leading somewhere deep in the town
so I follow the procession
and I give myself to them

where'd you get the tear
you said you didnt know
where'd you get the scar
you told me not to ask
I knew her as a child
she giggled like a bell
if you asked her she could cry
now she doesnt have to try

paper on the wall
pattern very bold
flowers of all kinds
you trace it with your eyes

listen to a tape
a mood you couldnt shake
the flicker of a flame
the ripples on a lake
pattern in the cloth
butterfly or moth
faded very pale
you trace it with your nail

take all the terrible things I've done back again
meet me at the gate
where we always met
maybe in a year
i hold it very dear

bird in the house
better let it out
because if you dont
death is very close
if it is a bee
its lucky if it leaves
if the bee stays
a strangers on his way

leave like a thief in the night never say your goodbyes
i knew her as a child

take all the terrible things I've done back again
keep a little dirt
from somewhere that he trod
if you keep it close
he'll never let you go

I hung up all her dresses
from the branches of trees and from the bushes
and the gramophone was playing
in the middle of it all next to the daisies

a far away throng of a far away song

the wind was very restless
it shook all the gowns and all the dresses
as it whipped around the garden
they toss of their hats and throw their arms out

the gramophone wound out its faraway sound

leaves tremble and sway
like the hands of dancers raised
and a sea of buttons all blink the sun
and then I see
a dress break free

the bluest thing
I've ever seen
and just before
it disappears
it catches on the branch
of the highest tree
and then I see
that dress I'm sure
was the dress you wore

led by a boy
into the garden, now a ball room

we danced through the dawn
we never knew it had come and gone

please tell me once again what you said
oh, I knew you'd never forget
I knew you'd never forget

I buckle at the knees
and fall at your feet
you lift me like a child
ecstatic and wide eyed

is it time to go now
is it already over
led like a queen to the door
all the faces of my youth
all bow and bid me adieu